This post is going to use HBO’s excellent show Game of Thrones as a thinly-veiled framework for me to provide anecdotes about my misspent youth, playing fantasy role-playing games with my friends. (To clarify, these would be pen-and-paper narrative-heavy role playing games, and not Fifty Shades of Grey style role playing games. More D & D than S & M. Capiche?)

The show’s been on for four years, and if you’re reading an article about Dungeons and Dragons and Game of Thrones, I assume you’re up to date on the show, so this is your unnecessary spoiler-warning. (I won’t be spoiling anything from the books.)

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If you are not averse to the Dungeons & Dragons aesthetic, the series might be worth the effort. If you are nearly anyone else, you will hunger for HBO to get back to the business of languages for which we already have a dictionary. – Ginia Bellafante, New York Times 04/15/2011

The above quote was taken from Ginia Bellafante’s rather ill-conceived review of Game of Thrones, published a week or two into the show’s initial run. Her review, although not super-negative, was pretty dismissive saying that HBO’s adaptation of George RR Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire was “boy fiction patronizingly turned out to reach the population’s other half.

The “boy fiction” crack has clearly turned out to be crazy talk, as the show’s demographics are very broad and inclusive.

Ginia, really.

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This post (like so many on my blog) will be discussing elements of HBO’s Game of Thrones. Let’s just assume this will be spoilery if you haven’t watched Season Four of Game of Thrones, or read A Storm of Swords. Imagine the Titan of Braavos captioned below is guarding you from seeing any spoilers, provided you don’t read further.

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Look at Nothing Beneath my Legs! Spoilers! Below! (I’m talking about the text. Keep your mind out of Flea Bottom. That’s the gutter, I mean. My iron bottom has no fleas.)

In Defense of Braavos? What’s the meaning behind this post? Am I going to bore people with the tactical strategems (do those words even go together?) of defending a Venice-like city?

Probably not. I mean, I might bore you, but my focus won’t be on the military defense of Braavos, although I might touch on that in a very shallow manner.

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This post will be discussing plot points from HBO’s excellent Game of Thrones (as well as some points in the books that cover show events.) I’m okay with anyone reading my posts who aren’t caught up on the story, but you might as well watch the show/read the books. Why have me spoil you on details?

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Being Spoiled Elicits the Stink-Eyed Gaze!

In the fourth season of Game of Thrones, Tyrion Lannister is on his way to an assuredly dreadful pre-wedding breakfast with his nephew, King Joffrey Baratheon. En route, he encounters Lord Varys aka The Spider, the eunuch equivalent of SHIELD’s Nick Fury for the crown. When Tyrion asks the spy-master if he’ll be attending the breakfast, Varys explains that he was not invited. People of his sort are not often welcome at such events.

Tyrion: Forgive me if I don’t weep for you.
Varys: No one weeps for spiders or whores.

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The Second Trailer for Game of Thrones S5 just dropped, and I enjoyed screencapping the first one, so I did the same treatment for this trailer.

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Stannis: Spoilers? I Never Cared for Spoilers.
Davos: I’ve Never Brought You a Spoiled Onion, Your Grace.

This will be a non-spoilery analysis, in that I will describe exactly what I see, and not what I know or can speculate from reading the books. I’ll save that for a more spoilery analysis.

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There’s this show on HBO called Game of Thrones. Maybe you’ve heard of it. It’s great (as is the book series it’s based on, A Song of Ice and Fire.) This post will be talking plot points from the show (but no spoilers from book materials that the show hasn’t covered yet.) If you’re not up on the show, it’s up to you if you want to read the following article. Consider this your warning.

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Rock. Paper. Scissors. Lizard. Stark.

In Season One of Game of Thrones, Lord Eddard Stark brings to the court the recently deceased King Robert Baratheon’s last written directive granting Ned the regency until Robert’s heir comes of age. This document is presented to Queen Cersei.

Cersei: Is this meant to be your shield, Lord Stark? *rips paper*
Ned: Hmmm, maybe I should have played rock instead…

Scissors-Beats-Paper

Anyone not familiar with the rules of Rochambeau? (Sometimes spelled Ro-sham-bo.) Rock-Paper-Scissors?

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The Orcs and Season 5 Game of Thrones Promotions

Posted: March 2, 2015 by patricksponaugle in Uncategorized

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I’ll have a new Game of Thrones post out in a day or so (Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Stark) but here’s something from my Orcish Views on Game of Thrones blog.

The orcs are getting excited about Season 5, and they have their own way of perceiving the promotional materials.

patricksponaugle's avatarOrcish Views on Game of Thrones

(Orcish Envoy’s Notes: Spoilers for Game of Thrones. If you’re not up on the show, don’t complain to the orcs. They just don’t care.)


© Some Orcs in Moria 2015 Some Rights Reserved

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It’s March, so I went through my social media feeds and grabbed all the MicroStories I’d tweeted during the month of February. (I did more shoveling last month than Flash-Fictioning, I admit.)

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As a reminder, these represent story-essences composed using no more than 129 characters (so I could tweet them with the hashtag #MicroStory.)

Usually, I only tweet Science Fiction and Fantasy #MicroStories. February was pretty much no exception.

For really great #MicroStory action, please follow @MicroSFF, the Twitter account that inspired me to participate in this minimalist writing exercise. That feed puts out great science fiction and fantasy MicroStories all the time.

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This post will be talking about elements from HBO’s television show, Game of Thrones. Will this article be spoilery? I guess. I’ll probably be shying away from any solid plot points and I won’t be talking about anything concrete that hasn’t been revealed already. I’ll be talking music, yo!

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Lady Stark! Perhaps You’d Like to Hear The Rains of Castamere? Or You Could Pay Me Not to Sing It?

There have been 4 seasons of Game of Thrones (just under two months until Season Five kicks off) and if I have to hear The Rains of Castamere one more time, I’ll lose my mind.

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This post will be talking some spoilery details about the first four seasons of HBO’s Game of Thrones. Especially the final episode of Season Four, so if you’re not up on all the episodes, don’t read this post. Go watch the show. Season Five is starting in a few months, and you can get caught up!

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Not Watching Game of Thrones is a Crime!

Tyrion Lannister is a compelling figure on Game of Thrones. The black sheep of the Lannister clan, Tyrion is not popular in Westeros (being called a demon monkey by the King’s Landing citizenry that he more or less saved) but is wildly popular among book readers and show watchers. (Anyone who doesn’t like him can tell me about it in the comments section; we can have a respectful discourse.)

So, why am I having an In Defense of Tyrion Lannister if he’s so popular? It’s not like he pushed a kid out a window, arranged a massacre in defiance of religious and social conventions, or is a thuggish goon.

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This post discusses plot points from the first four seasons of HBO’s Game of Thrones. Consider this your spoiler warning.

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In a few days, it’ll be Saint Valentine’s Day, a day when romance is celebrated (at least that’s the strong implication from chocolate manufacturers, florists, and greeting card companies) and I think now is an appropriate time to talk about love and romance in Westeros.

At the start of Season Three of Game of Thrones, Jaime “Kingslayer” Lannister is being pushed and prodded towards King’s Landing by the stoic Brienne of Tarth. With very little to do to pass the time (other than stumble along) Jaime takes the opportunity to needle Brienne about many things. Her size, her attitude, and her admiration for Renly Baratheon.

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Talking about Renly and his sexual preferences crosses a line with Brienne, but Jaime defuses the situation with this statement:

I don’t blame him and I don’t blame you either. We don’t get to choose who we love.

We don’t get to choose who we love pretty much sums up the state of romance in Westeros.

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