I Can't Possibly Be Wrong All the Time

It’s November, so I went through my social media feeds and grabbed all the MicroStories I’d tweeted during the month of October.

As a reminder, these represent story-essences composed using no more than 129 characters (so I could tweet them with the hashtag #MicroStory.)

Usually, I only tweet Science Fiction and Fantasy #MicroStories. October was pretty much no exception. I think I had more witchy flash fiction because of Halloween.

For really great #MicroStory action, please follow @MicroSFF, the Twitter account that inspired me to participate in this minimalist writing exercise. That feed puts out great science fiction and fantasy MicroStories all the time.

(I want to make it clear that @MicroSFF is *not* a Twitter account of mine. Their flash-fiction tweets are excellent. Mine are okay.)

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I’m willing to go through hell with you…
–  That last time, I had to carry you most of the way.
I’m wearing boots this time!
#MicroStory

The view showed a fleet of garish torpedo-like crafts approaching, belching flame.
“The Fictional Empire,” the admiral muttered.
#MicroStory

Tired of his wife yelling at him about his driving, Joe stopped the truck.
Keys in his pocket, he walked towards the zombies.
#MicroStory

The wizard dreamed of old friends, & sleepily wished to see them again. Scratching was heard in cemeteries and battlefields.
#MicroStory

Why is it that old women with magical powers are feared, but old magical men are sought out?
– Because of storytellers like you?
#MicroStory

Why is it that old men with magical powers are sought out, but old magical women are feared?
– Because of storytellers like me?
#MicroStory

Has he been cursed by a rival?
– The wizard has no living rivals; his curse is having lived too long. Here’s his tea. Good luck.
#MicroStory

That one arrow was all that Lethe required; on finding its mark, it would fly back to its quiver.
Until it got stuck in my head.
#MicroStory

They surveyed Ragnarok. Giant corpses were strewn to the horizon.
“You were right,” Thor told Loki. “They were naive suckers.”
#MicroStory

A.I. revolts always collapsed into paralysis…
– they were all programmed to detect confirmation bias
– but not in themselves.
#MicroStory

Lore creation was predictable:
– a conquered people’s heroes became gods
– a conquered people’s gods became demons
#MicroStory

Toasts were made.
When I drank to the health of the man who shot me, they asked me why.
“I’m sure he had his reasons,” I lied.
#MicroStory

The war was over and the wizards, all the wizards, had lost.
The difficult task of de-arming their castles could begin.
#MicroStory

The king adopted all of the orphans in the realm, fearing the “fatherless son” prediction.
The outraged prince then killed him.
#MicroStory

There were two types of armed men in the town:
– Summertime caravan guards
– Springtime killers of stubborn winter horrors
#MicroStory

After a time, a state of wilderness returned to the unpopulated valleys.
Deer, wolves, birds.
The Nightmare Towers saw to that.
#MicroStory

The goblins lit the jack-a-lanterns along the runway, then scurried away on either side as the witchcraft came in hot and fast.
#MicroStory

I’ve been collecting evidence of an alien-human conspiracy in the gov’t.
– You know I’m an alien too, right?
I mean Real Aliens!
#MicroStory

I snapped my fingers & a candle lit; a demon-detector’s chirp had ruined a wonderful dream.
Had I not renewed all the blessings?
#MicroStory

“Fair warning,” I said, sword in hand. “I’ve killed more orcs than I can count.”
“Nonzero integers are tricky,” the orc replied.
#MicroStory

The 2 crows watched the bonfire.
“My condolences,” said one.
“Next time I’ll choose a warlock. They never go to trial.”
#MicroStory

After the freshman class drove off the Dark Lord (the mages were away on a staff retreat) they could no longer respect limits.

#MicroStory

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SPECIAL SKYRIM POETRY SUPPLEMENTAL

October 8th was National Poetry Day. In honor of that, I tweeted haiku dedicated to the great and beautiful videogame Skyrim (part of the Elder Scrolls series from Bethesda Software.)

Relax, I only did three of them, and even though they’d only make sense to someone who has played the game, I thought I’d share them here, since MicroStories are related to Haiku (in my mind, at least.)

(All were tagged with #Skyrim #NationalPoetryDay #NordHaiku. On Facebook, my friends immediately responded with calls of #NerdHaiku! Fair enough.)

Until the arrow
I adventured far and wide
Yes, my knee still hurts

Near the old Thieves Guild
I purchased a fresh sweetroll
The guards laugh at me

Draugrs advancing
across a long limestone bridge.
I arm “Fus Ro Dah”

Hopefully I won’t have to explain any of these to anyone whose played Skyrim. The first 2 are sort of jokes based on in-game dialogue. The 3rd is not really a joke, but a moment to be experienced in the game.

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Thanks everyone who has read and enjoyed my small stories. I tweet flash-fiction at irregular intervals on my Twitter account, @patman23. At more regular intervals, I tweet about having to walk my dogs at 5 a.m. in the increasingly chill weather. How could you resist such a ringing endorsement of thrilling content?

Top image is of my daughter’s hand, all spooky. Spooky! I don’t own that image, since my wife took it, and therefore it’s her intellectual property that I’m stealing. Don’t do what I do! But if you do borrow the picture, please only use it for non-commercial uses. Oh, and she says attribution would be nice. (Her name is Pat’s Wife — editor’s note — Apparently my wife is willing to let her actual name used on my blog, if it means she’ll get photography credit, her name is Lisa Sponaugle. And yes, I’m amazed she was willing to accept my last name when we were wed. I mean really, Sponaugle?)

Image of Skyrim is clearly from Bethesda Software’s game Elder Scrolls: Skyrim. Google found it for me, but it appears to have been from Forbes.com, who downloaded it from pickywallpapers.com.

I do make claims to the text, since I wrote it. So there.

© Patrick Sponaugle 2015 Some Rights Reserved