I Can't Possibly Be Wrong All the Time

This post will be talking about Game of Thrones, and therefore could contain potential spoilers. But the content will probably not spoil anything. But don’t trust me. I’m just a guy on the Internet.

The finale is happening so soon? I haven’t even inquired into where whores go!

Sunday night, HBO will air the final episode of the sixth year of Game of Thrones, titled the Winds of Winter. The Starks have been talking about Winter Coming for so long, they might finally be right.

People who regularly read my blog know that I do a log of posts about Game of Thrones, but I usually take a break during the season to relax and enjoy the show. A few weeks after the finale, I’ll start up my Westeros-based blogging routine to keep me going until the show starts up again with its seventh season in 2017 (hopefully after the sixth book is published. KEEP HOPE ALIVE!)

But in honor of the imminent finale episode, I thought I’d throw something together now.

Predctions – (Relax, these can’t possibly be spoilery)

Where I work, most of us have read the books and we encourage our colleagues who haven’t to make predictions for the season. Which entertains us to no end, because A Song of Ice and Fire is pretty unpredictable. This season, the tables were turned when our show watching comrades insisted that we smug book readers make predictions for parts of the show that had gone past the books.

We complied. Below is a list of predictions (wrong, or super-unlikely to happen in episode 10) of what we book readers thought might happen. Feel free to ridicule.

(Some of these might be contradictory, because they’re coming from more than one person. They’ll all be presented anonymously. I did some minor editing, mostly on spelling. It’s embarrassing.)

• Bran learns to fully use his newfound power. He learns that he can control many recently killed men. Bran gains control of the dead Stannis and his dead men. He uses them to attack Winterfell and kill Ramsay. Then he sends the undead Baratheon men toward the wall to help Jon Snow.
• Jorah desperately searches for Dany. While he and Daario search for her, it comes out that Daario really WAS the leader of the Harpies! Can’t the producers make up their minds? There is an epic mano y mano fight to the death. Who comes out on top? Of course Jorah does.
• Jaime returns to Kings Landing and informs Cersei of the treachery of the Sand Snakes. Jaime and Cersei decide to get married, since there is nothing wrong with that.
• Jaime is distraught that his daughter has died, but realizes that it was just the Game of Thrones. Cersei blames him and insists he go and get revenge, but he holes himself in a tower reading books instead.
• Prince Doran sends his big guy (Areo Hotah) after Ellaria.  He and his contingent attack Ellaria and the three Snakes.  During the battle Elaria is killed.  Areo returns the Snakes to Prince Doran.
• Doran then dispatches the Snakes to King’s Landing to rescue Trystane.  They readily agree to this, planning to also kill some Lannisters (say, Jaimie and Cersei) while they are there.
• When the Snakes arrive in King’s Landing they attempt to rescue Trystane, but are stopped by Bronn and Jaime. Tyene and Bronn (who have a history as we know!) battle and Bronn kills Tyene.  Jaime kills Nymeria and Obara manages to escape the melee only to run into the Undead Mountain who rips her in half!

An alternative theory about Mycella and Dorne:

• Myrcella will be saved (probably by Trystane.)
• Prince Doran will be forced to order the arrest of the Sand Snakes, but they’ll not be caught, and will be assembling their supporters to challenge Doran’s rule. Dornish revolt!
• Jaime and Areo Hotah will hunt for Ellaria. It will turn out that Obara is actually on Prince Doran’s side in all this.

• Ser Davos will decide that he’s still team Baratheon, and sets off in search of Gendry. Melisandre found Gendry before, he suspects she can find him again.
• Arya journeys to the Eyrie to kill Littlefinger.  She discovers that the Eyrie is under siege by Roose and Ramsay Bolton.  She uses her new skills and faces to get past the Bolton army and inside the Eyrie.  And she finds.. Sansa!  Finally, a Stark reunion.
• Dany finds enough ships to sail to Westeros and heads there with her army and Tyrion. Along the way, Dany falls madly in love with Tyrion and marries him.
• At the end of the season the Lannisters have control of the south, the Starks control the north, and Dany controls Dragonstone and the Iron Islands.

Yup. We said these things…

I mean, I’m clearly cherry-picking the stuff that’s wrong (although for all I know, Dany will marry Tyrion and will take over Dragonstone and the Iron Islands during the final episode…)

I didn’t list all of the stuff we got right (Jon coming back, Arya regaining her sight, Theon and Sansa not breaking their legs like they should have, etc.) but that’s not the point of the post. It was really fun as a book reader not quite knowing what might happen this season. In the past, it’s been more of judging the show as an adaptation and it’s kind of cool to be experiencing it as a fresh story.

Okay, I hope everyone enjoyed reading this and will enjoy the upcoming finale.

Then we can settle in for the long long wait until Season Seven. In between that time, I hope to crank out at least twenty-four essays about the show. What else am I going to be doing that could be worthwhile? (Well, being a dad and husband, sure. That’s more important. It’s just not as blog-worthy…)

(Comments are always welcome. Super welcome! But if you want to talk spoilery Game of Thrones talk with me (also welcome) I’d invite you to visit my Safe Spoilers page on my backup blog. That way my non-book-reading friends won’t be shocked with foreknowledge.)

Images from HBO’s Game of Thrones (obviously.) 

I make no claims to the artwork, but some claims to the text – that I wrote. The other predictions belong to my co-workers, obviously. Did I get permission to use these quotes? What an interesting question. Hey, is that a dragon flying over to burn us all up? Let’s worry about that, shall we?

If you liked this article, thank you! I have all of my Game of Thrones related articles on my handy-dandy Game of Thrones page should you want to read more but don’t want to navigate around my site.

© Patrick Sponaugle 2016 Some Rights Reserved